Raising Children Today

I've already written this post a few days back,
but it was only today I had time to finish it.

Maybe it was because I was couped in an FGD (Focus Group Discussion)
with young mothers for two whole days.
Maybe it was because several of my colleagues
kept talking about their kids.
Maybe it was because some of my friends in my Friendster friend list
has changed their name to "Mamanya X" or "Papanya Y".
Or maybe because I somehow kept seeing "About The Baby Human" in Discovery Channel
when I'm back in my cozy room.

Whatever the reason, this week kept me thinking about raising kids in the 21 century.

A colleague complained that her child talks too mature for her age.
How mature?
Well, the child actually advised her mother not to get too angry too much
or else the father might divorce her.
When I first heard it, it was like.. OK... so?

My colleague continued saying that the child was only in Kindergarten.
And so? I kept questioning.
My colleague just looked at me blankly.. and said, "Kids these days...!"

To me, what the child said is just a usual comment coming from a kid these days.
I mean the definition of marriage and divorce can easily be understood
by young children nowadays - just look at those celebrity gossip shows.
Either their now marrying or divorcing.
Look at those soap operas - the wife gets mad all the time, the husband leaves her.
Isn't it understandble that young kids nowadays know about that?

When I was just a 1st grader in Brimhall,
we kids will loosely use the term "marriage" when we talk about a friend being a couple.
(Yes, we were still a 1st grader in elementary school - but we already had boy/girl friends)
And then use the term "divorce" when they split up.
So...?

A friend of mine already knew when she would like to lose her virginity
when we were still in 3rd grade.
And too me, it was quite acceptable then.

When I explained THAT to my worried colleague,
she just looked at me blankly as though saying, "What do YOU know about raising kids?"
Oh what the heck...

I simply think that parents nowadays flip out about their child's behaviour
because their child's behaviour simply wasn't expected.
They will always say, "I wouldn't do/say THAT when I was a kid."
Yeah well, when YOU were a kid, there was no such thing as Internet!

But time always go on and people change. Everything changes!
In the old days, there was no computer.
Now, it's usual to see people carrying laptops in the train.
In the old days, it was taboo for English woman to wear pants.
Now, we see women wearing JEANS almost every day.
I could go on.. but I'll just bore you.

The thing is, you have to go with the change.
Just because YOU wouldn't say or do something when you were a kid,
doesn't mean your child can't say or do it.
Just like when YOUR PARENTS when raising YOU.
I bet, you always had a heap of surprises for them.
Just imagine how it felt being a parent of the Flower Generation! :)

When a child acts out of the ordinary,
the parents will quickly blame the society.
But when I see young parents in malls in Jakarta,
I just give a big sigh.
Uh, HELLO? What's with all those maids carrying your baby?
While the mother is busy picking the new Dior bag to match her outfit,
the maid is busy chasing and dotting over the child.
It's as though having a child is such a burden.

Yeah.. of course, it's a burden!
That's why it takes a big responsibility to raise one.
And that's why when I have a kid, I would rather stay home and work freelance.
I wouldn't want my child to be raised with some illiterate maid.

Some of my friends are usually astonished,
about how I plan my life when I get married (whenever that is! Heheheh)
They always see me as this ambitious, hard working, career woman.
Well, welcome to the other facet of my life.

I may be ambitious, but that doesn't make me heartless.
I may have high goals, but that doesn't make me grounded.

Being a housewife doesn't mean you're losing out in the emancipation game.
Emancipation means being able to choose what ever you want.
Whether you want to work outside the house or have a career of running the housework.

But don't fret, as a person that won't stay still
I wouldn't be just any regular housewife.
I'll be a housewife with a freelancer job or maybe be a writer.
Whatever I do, one thing is for sure... I would still have time to take care of my future children.
And with the kind of office work I'm doing now... that's kind of impossible to achieve.

Wish me luck! :)


"We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve.
We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift,
our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly."
(Mark Twain)